sux.

well. thought it could be happy, sleep early. wake up early.

now damn sian diao. little emo.

eh, how shld i put it. hmm i resisted talking abt it precisely cos i know u wun like it if i talk abt it. so i din say anything much wad. okay that (im trying to ctrl myself on blah blah blah) part is abt this. cos u dun like to hear thus i dun wanna enter that topic.

den u automatically talk more and feed me info of cos i'll wanna find out more right. and since u are the one who started talking abt it i presummed u are fine with it. and i really just talking abt it.

i totally understd the part when u said it was weird. cos i understd the situation u are in. cos of the certain chances its like scary.

but if u wld stop thinking that i am despo i think it will all be fine. i only act like that, and speak for the fun of it and to create new topics and keep the mood. now it seems to have totally backfired cos more and more arguments are rising.

well, sometimes i dun understd why cant it be discussed with an open mind.

its just irritating things like this happen la. WALAO.

now im pissed off with myself for creating such trouble but also pissed at this situation it just sux. dunno why.

i dunno lah. i thought i deserved better. after all this. well, it always happen to me somehow. i feel under appreciated. is it becos i overestimated myself, or is it that i demanded too much. or is it just that some ppl just dun give a damn abt certain things.

of cos i hate myself for spoiling it again.

i say something deliberately to achieve the effect. im not requesting for it or asking for something to be done. i say it and den laugh over it so its like jkjk. dunno why must be interperated in such a way.




i dunno. cant describe it better.

i cant hate u, i cant hate myself. i dunno. its just a weird weird situation. its like i think and oh man im in the wrong, but somehow im not that wrong also. i always push the blame to myself once something like this happens. its hard to bear.

sux.