Change / Don't Change

If you feel out of place because you are different from the rest around you, will you change?
If someone tells you you should not behave or think in such a way, will you change?
If you think you are still single because you are not _______ enough, will you change?

There would be times, when someone else points out / criticises one of your actions / beliefs / thoughts/ behaviour.

Will you change.
Or SHOULD you change?


I think it should be flexible, but at the same time not changing your core values/principles which guide the way u live every single day.




I believe some ppl, would think that im inflexible, cos i hang on to some of my beliefs very strongly.

The best example, in which others would feel im inflexible (although they do not confront me directly but i can feel it and i know it) is in army, when i choose to do almost everything the right way, when most others, esp subordinates are trying to force their way to the other end, the "by left" path. I dont take magic off, i do what superiors ask me to do, i dun ask ppl to sign book in book out book for me, i (try to) keep my area neat and tidy, i go to office on time, i go route marches in full field pack and sing all the way, i (usually) dun escape from my responsibilities, i keep my phone on 24/7 and pick it up in the wee hours, i try to be strict with my guys (which din work out in the end but they know how i work).

However, I do not change. Which leads back to my point that what you do, should not clash with your beliefs. Because it is my core belief, to do what is right. I may not have won any "best soldier of the month award". I may not have gained my superiors' recognition in the face. I may have been hated by some of my guys. I may have been laughed at by some ppl, why work so hard we are all NSFs? BUT, i hung on. and i ORD-ed. with a stronger belief. And i know i contributed, and i did the right thing.


Another one thing which i stuck to faithfully is not to "cheat" in school. Although this is less obvious to ppl ard and they dun really ask me to change haha. I don't know why, and when. it should be in primary sch, i did "cheat" b4. it is not totally intentional. i rmbr i was taking a paper and i looked up. my classmate was holding up his paper and i (ok, i think it was intentional) saw his answer for one qn, i wrote "can" and he wrote "could". i forgot CAN had a past tense! then, i changed my answer. I had felt guilty my entire life doing that. zz. i can still rmbr who that classmate was. omg. from my memory, i din ever cheat again alr, at least not intentionally / consciously.

The most obvious one, was my reluctance to ask ppl about SPA. well, for those in the same year as me, you would know what im talking abt. Science subjects had practical exams (called SPA) which counted towards 'A' lvls, and diff class had diff days and timing for the SPA and it is like widespread mass cheating. no further explanation needed here. i admit i heard the topic of the physics SPA Skill A before the test, becos my classmate was like declaring too loudly behind me. other than that, however, i ran away whenever ppl talked abt it, i covered my ears, and i nv ever asked anyone abt the topic of the practical. Cos i dun believe in cheating. 是你的,就是你的. 不是你的,就不是你的. perhaps, it was conpounded by the way the cheating was done, so much it was disgusting and vulgar.

Even when i was awarded more marks than i should have been, i always went up to look for the teacher. 是你的,就是你的. 不是你的,就不是你的. you shld not get more marks than you deserve. very often, esp in maths tests in upper sec, i owned up to this additional errors by teachers. once, in jc bio, i rmbr vivdly, that the tchr gave me a score of 49.5 that meant a pass, but i added and realised it was supposed to be 49, which is a fail grade. hahaha. i went to correct this mistake with the tutor, even though in the end there was moderation so didnt really fail.


okay i AM digressing from the original ideas i had, so lets get back on track!

what im trying to say is that, how does a person know what to change and what not to change. some friends recently gave me answers such as, im like this, this is who i am, and by changing, its not him/herself anymore. Is this a valid reason? is it that he (by default not implying the gender of my friend, just lazy to type he/she all the time) shouldn't listen to opinions because it will not be him anymore?

Changes should be considered, unless as i mentioned, it clashes with your CORE VALUES, which will be embedded in your brain and no matter what u do it will affect ur decision making process.

Take an example. my friend, who most viewers will know who im refering to, feels that he is not a person who can relate to strangers easily, and can only be more open to closer friends. and he terms meeting new friends and socialising with ppl u just met as ZHUANG SHU. which i have to disagree. Firstly, i dun think his CORE BELIEF is to be not shu with ppl. wat kind of belief would that be?? lol. i think thats it is just him unable to step out of his comfort zone easily enough bah. i would say, try it, go for a change.

in fact, i do not belief it should be termed ZHUANG SHU to PU LU for the future. maybe that is the agenda on some ppl's mind. but not mine. not to an extent of negativity. i learnt that it is impt to be able to be frenly, and open to others when the need arises. simply because, it makes u more happy and easier to communicate with the rest. smiling, and seeing a return smile is a good feeling. its and acknowledgement of your presence. dun think of the "zhuang shu" cos the "zhuang" makes it feel fake. use your true feelings, open up your heart and greet someone with sincerity. this is MY belief. wads wrong with doing so? i would only feel otherwise if that person is someone i dislike and i have to work with him, tt will be closer to zhuang shu. if u truely dun wish to make any friends, den dun.

it is not easy to take the first step to be more "extrovert". this change is not easy, at least for me. i am a quiet person, and i still am at times now. however, over the yrs, i have begun to know how to open up with less effort. when i was young, i refuse to buy things from vendors by myself. at the coffee shop, i would rather not eat and throw a tantrum than to buy roti prata from the stall on my own. and at the canteen, i have to think and meng repeat wat i order in my brain before telling the auntie my order. on the airplane, i was afraid of the steward / stewardess coming cos that would mean i wld be asked, "hi wat drink wld u like?". i would think apple or orange juice, apple should be better, because its easier to pronounce. orange is like harder and ang moh may not understand. so i meng whisper to myself apple juice apple juice apple juice and when the steward came, my sister sitting beside me wanted "coca cola please" and i was stunned and scared and confused that i forgot to say apple juice and said," ... same .. ", pointing to my sister. hahaha. but now, after growing up, taking up responsiblities in class, CCA and council, i realised its not that difficult! this change is necessary. i did not stick to my "timid" self cos "im like this". i gained more confidence of speech and presentation of myself.

This kind of changes, i prefer to term it "IMPROVEMENTS". Why not? if it improves you as a person, or a situation why not? it is for your own good, unless u are absolutely totally AGAINST it.

Another pt i pondered upon is that would someone who is single and remains single despite efforts to dump singlehood change himself in order to find the other half of their lives. it is hard to say. but i think, once again, unless it defied my CORE PRINCIPLES i will do it. some traits may be very YOU but not very socially acceptable. will u change then?

i think, as long as it is good for yourself, do it, make a change. make an improvement, and upgrade. listen to wad others have to say, they must have a reason to do so. think abt it, but dun do it at the expense of your happiness or values. do it beacause its the right thing to do, not because of peer pressure. do it with your heart, make a change. put in a little effort, for the BETTER...

Change, only if you should and want to.
Don't reject change because you dun want to change.