70% girl, but i still dun understand 100% thems.

u know, ive been saying that im 70% girl for a few months alr, becos of the many ways i think i think/behave like a girl. but saying that, i still have to concede that im just a guy. and still a guy haha. and i still dun understand girls.

well, some time back i thought i did. or maybe i really do, but subconsciously i do not trust my instincts totally and feel that i might be wrong. thus eventually when my thoughts deviate from what i originally thought girls were thinking, i end up not understanding them.

there are many instances. and i shall not cover many of them now. just like to point out one. well sometimes i get a feeling that L is trying to distant herself as much away from me as possible. im guessing that she feels that i might be interested in her and she doesnt want to give me any false hopes or ideas. actually i just wanna know her better, dun really have other motives or what. if she keeps giving me this distance, i guess i should back off and not try to make things uncomfortable for her.

den again, some part of me has to decide when to give up trying. its a very difficult skill. if i stop now, den i think what might have been. if i keep going, things might end up ugly. if i ask ppl, they will tell me to go for it and i have nth to lose. or if u dun try u never know. yes thats true. but if she is pushing me away i should be more sensitive and not cause her more harm right? very difficult to understand girls. hahaha. maybe its because they dont believe that a guy can want to just be friends and know them better. or maybe guys really wont want that but im forcing myself to believe that? i dunno.

70% girl, but i dunno how a girl thinks. its likely because the 30% guy that i am allows me to be more thick-skinned and be able to take more initiative. for now, i think its a no.