am i really happy?

thats a very good question.

indeed, before that moment earlier i was really laughing and entertained by it. actually to be entertained by it sounds a bit bad also, perhaps its more like i thought it was pretty interesting and funny. so while i was seeing and hearing and observing other things, i felt it was qt funny.

but then again, just now i was laughing, but somehow i think i came to a point when i wasnt really laughing from the bottom of my heart alr. hmm. i guess it could be becos i had made too much out of nth LOL and so i realised that it wasnt really that funny. but then again, wat mankey said really got me thinking. am i really putting on a show?

no, im not putting on a show. it was real. but, i thought abt it and i couldnt deny that there was still a little bit of me thats not really too happy abt it. hmmm. i guess its still not 100% gone yet.

but one things for sure, i know its not going to be wad i had thought it could be before, and now im thinking much much more neutrally. perhaps i hadnt got rid of it in my mind/heart totally, and i still think that those look a bit not too good, but im sure that i do not want wat i wanted some time ago.

talking in riddles/ encrypted scripts is one of my fav these days haha.

maybe im not really that happy, but at least im not sad, and my laughter is not fake.