i need to be nice again.

haha. i changes my msn nick to this yday.

it has really been a long long time since i recall last being nice. real nice. i think i've grown more selfish more sarcastic and more insensitive over this period of say two to three years? i hope to change things and be nice again.

haha sounds lame. i guess its not. cos i like to be nice. the feeling is great. haha my greatest joy is derived from being able to make ppl laugh and to be nice to them. but its qt distant still.

why do i have such thoughts? well, its not a sudden thing, have been thinking abt it over some time. using sarcastic remarks and being lame is one of my trademarks now, but thats not wat i truely am (i hope) or want to be. thats why i think i am easily misunderstood. cos i am lame ppl think im not serious abt certain stuff and cos im sarcastic or speak with opposite meanings i may be perceived as rude/ not so frenly. in addition, i have been nua and lazy these days that i sometimes dun bother to do nice things alr. which is S.A.D.

if i think, but i dun do, no pt also. so i guess i have to start real soon.

two days ago, i did something nice and i felt =D. haha, good for a start.

well, it was raining when we needed to move to LT32. However, only i had an umbrella with me and minkhai and weiquan did not bring. so we had to share! three persons to one umbrella wasnt very effective!? den in front of us, there were three girls without umbrellas and they were kinda getting wet. i said to minkhai, who was holding the umbrella, let them use la! but of cos, its not very normal for someone to do that and he hesitated before handing the umbrella back to me lol. den we tried to walk another distance with 3 in 1 umbrella and it still sucks as we are walking damn slow plus we are still getting wet.

soon, the two of them gave up and decided to zhi ben to the LT instead. haha. and i, holding the umbrella all to myself, walked a distance before finally deciding, hey, its time to make a move. so, i approached the last of three ladies (the other two walked faster ahead)and asked her if she was going to LT 32, den handed over my umbrella and zoomed off to the LT first. later on den i waited for her at the top to get my umbrella back.

okay i know i was a bit late to offer she was alr wet from the rain. but then, its a good start i suppose. at least i stepped out and did wad i felt i ought to do. haha. likes. and from then on, i need to move forward.



talking abt thinking: hey its time to make a move, i think i need such courage and pushing factor and force behind me more frequently. i need to think this way and do things that are stuck there halfway ie undecided and go for it. that day damn lame. was at the bus stop and then this packed bus came and the passengers in front were trying to squeeze their way in, but there was still space at the rear of the bus. they just wouldnt move in! sucks right? this situation is common la. den again, how many times do u actually see someone saying, hey can u move in? rarely. most of the time, you look at me, i look at you, like its always the other person's responsibility to move or do something abt it! so i thought, hey its time to do something.

i was still at the bus stop and i went near the back of the bus and TRIED to signal some of the passengers to move but apparently, either i wasnt obvious enough, or they thought i was crazy, or they could not be bothered. well, i was still a bit embarrassed thus i wasnt sure of my actions either. today i made a sign saying PLEASE MOVE IN on an A4 size paper. hahahha not sure if i will get the chance to use it, but lets see.


back to the topic, i need to be nice again. i hope i rmbr and improve by the day, to be a better person than i was the day b4.