The Amazing Race

As i mentioned on my fb status, the amazing race always manages to touch me a little here and there. esp the last ep when u are THE FIRST TEAM and you run in and the whole world is cheering for you (or for the camera) haha. i guess its just the feeling or victory, over others, over self, and more importantly the idea of travelling around the world and putting in ur best, tgt with one of the most impt ppl in ur life. awesome eh? haha.

(SPOILER ALERT)

in the end it was really qt sad for the most consistent team JT to lose it. so sucky its pure luck lor. that they got such a cui cab driver. i havent liked them much all along becos they are really damn competitive and v focused. but as i have also thought previously, you cant blame them. yes its a tv show but these are all just ordinary folks in the states and they are there to win ONE MILLION BUCKS, not there to act in a movie to entertain us haha. but then again of cos if u have personalitites as interesting as BC, then its a diff story.

in the end the team i used to support, NK, won! yay i was kind rooting for them in this last leg. actually, all the hard work put in to bring u to the last leg stops thr, and its really the last leg thats crucial. be the first team at the first item and u have a really good chance unless u screw up.

end of the season, see if next seasons watchable. haha. it gave me good breaks in btwn this sem too. and during exams. just din like how they made food disgusting and probably spoilt hk's awesome food's reputation a bit.

regrets of my life

a few regrets of my life.


a handful in army.

quite a number of people-handling situations.

and particularly one particular friend.



thinking. remembering. regretting.

i feel human again!

it all started out with a simple chat with ben, then with yj as well. perhaps i had been too robotic. a mugging machine all these while. that i've lost the human touch. i haven felt so real, so human in a long long while. esp since probably this sem?

tonight i was about to sleep just a few minutes past 12 mn, then i lied down on my bed, thinking about stuff. much stuff. many stuff. i couldnt fall asleep. probably cos i have had late nights previously, but more so becos of the thoughts and conversations that i had tonight. in contrast with discussions about energy equations and margules and ATGCCCTAA, this had to be the most human night of recent years. of cos im exaggerating. but months.

so as i was lying on my bed, i knew, at the back of my mind, that i would wake up eventually and end up here. perhaps at that point the decision was alr made, but watever. too many things were going through my mind. tonight, i felt i had to pen it down, cos i guess i will lose myself very soon again. blog i had to. this place which had been left breeding mozzies for the past month. yes, there were no entries at all in november.

i had always used my blog most willingly to convey my feelings. my thoughts. these human ideas running in my mind in the nights/or days. esp a few years ago, when my emotions were - as often described by me myself - roller coaster like.

as a human, i LOVE to feel human. thats why im here tonight. once again im beating abt the bush. or rather, im typing down whatever comes to my mind now. there were a few issues that i had thought about tonight. before that, in my real life chats with ben, and also yj, there were also a few points that i wanted to address, and maybe rediscover.

yes, im "emo" again. not emo emo until emo one corner, but i feel human again. guess what, u will not stop reading the word human. it WILL pop up again and again in this post. so maybe i should go to the point. the point is this was one of the nights when i just know i had to take a trip down memory lane, and to think about my life, what i am, what i want to be. human thoughts once again.

so i got myself up, on-ed my laptop, typed this text. typing i mean. since i was feeling kinda emo, i opened up my box. one of my boxes.

yes. these boxes are what i use to store things. gifts from ppl, letters, some personal and probably secretive stuff i meant to kept. for a rainy day? nope, for an emo night like this one. and indeed, just as i lifted the lid off the tin, i had the feeling. nostalgia? not that strong. im not sure how i should label it, probably a mix of emotions and reminiscence. however u spell that. haha.

in this particular tin, most of the stuff were jc stuff. i had just read a couple of short messages from councillors i received then. i read them and i felt close again. these ppl whom i had such strong bonding with, and now its like all gone. memories, never erased though. the best days of my life, most enriching. (maybe that will change after i have a child on my own haha). the common thing is that they tell me, to stay the way i am. lame. cheerful. always full of crap hahaha. that is, who i am. i live by this rule. im happy when YOU are happy. i feel that its my duty to keep ppl ard me, who matters, happy. and entertained. i love smiles. i love the way ppl look at u and laugh. but now i think, have i done so? perhaps the underlying principle and guiding values have not changed, but i do realise that i am not perceived in this way now. the so-called-gummieness. haha as some term it, had not been around so strongly. i felt a little guilty. why? have i changed? am i still the gum i used to be? i dunno. i think i am changed, but i hope i can instill the sense of gummieness into myself, and influence ppl ard me again. i hope. not easy, but i hope.

ok im still very lame. hahha. even lamer. and more bhb now. lol.

i had a note book. a tiny one that i kept with me on my trip to hk. haha that was four years ago! and it was pretty funny. i listed out all the meals i had then. every day. all the expenses. hahaha.

and some pieces of notes i wrote to someone during one council event. oh man its totally er xin now that i read it hahahhahaha. but thats who i am! who i was rather. its really truly qt disgusting haha not in a R rated way of cos. just kinda, childish? mushy? i dunno. and i kept those with me. luckily. luckily.

and now i have in front of me, my diary. haha. yes i kept a diary. i should keep one, and continue keeping one, but im too inhuman to do so now. and too lazy. too san fen zong re du. now lemme go and read some of it first. haha there werent many entries, but im sure they will revoke some strong emotions in me...

~

im still readin my diary. not many entries. and very funny. haha so things i wrote were qt mmhmm as well ahhaha. and many things i forget le! omggg. and also reminded me of many things. hmm orange smiley? i cant recall that!

haha okay im still reading, and im pretty shag now alr. its 230am! haha wrote less i expected. maybe if i feel human soon i will continue more here. but for now, i guess this is it and i shall finish reading and then go and rest alr.

the whole bunch of entries were all abt _____ and _____ actually.


thoughts, ideas, memories, human.

i dunno

wat to blog abt, just feel like updating my blog. haha.

there is this part of my which isnt sure of myself anymore. sometimes i feel things, think about things that i would not if its someone else. which leads me to think whether there is something else in my mind. but in sorting thoughts out, i guess its just a so-called transition period kinda thing. definitely need some time to change things and smooth it out. its great to be able to advance on another front, although not most desirable previously but it looks like its the best way to go forward now. i think i need something else to come into the picture, of higher importance, before i can be 100% confident of saying that i've moved on.

maybe my thinking is qt rigid (engr trained) LOL. thus i need some time to change my mentality completely. im constantly reminding myself.

perhaps its just a weird transition, considering the circumstances and things and ppl involved. but once again, im truly grateful and glad that its working out very well (:

wasteful weekend

this was the first four day weekend of a few more to come. and i have wasted this one terribly! no concrete advancement in work, tutorials or reading up notes. ohmytian. angry with myself. somethings wrong. i need to stay disciplined. from now on!

> 2 weeks

since i last blogged! hahaha. oh wells, kinda sick two weeks ago and then trying to catch up with the lag and din really on com most of the time. haha. i think the real reason is that i have found another outlet to cyber rant/vent/type/emo.

haha twitter is good for me to post more fei4 but helpful short updates. fb had always been there for me lol. and now also its not so easy to post POTD cos last time i take photos and send to my com over bluetooth. thats v convenient but now i use iphone and its qt mafan to send it over! plus i upload it directly to fb. hahaha.

so i guess there will be less/or even no more POTD section on this blog. i thank everyone for their support over the past months haha. oh its about a year alr! woots. i guess most pics will be on fb instead of here.

i will continue to post some more stuff here. maybe more abt the stuff i think about or such ba. (:

POTD 06-10-10

GO AWAY NOSEY! Lol.

POTD 04-10-10

KOI's business is so damn good in Singapore, with queues at almost any single time at every outlet. They are earning so much that they are willing to pay 4.8k per hour for a part-timer!

POTD 02-10-10

marina sq food court qiu lian banmian! the noodles are qt cui sianss. too hard like uncooked liddat sia. the soup is good, the meat is qt special haha. salty as usual.

I love NUS day!

being a teacher

i think that the society holds high hopes for our teachers, hoping for them to be the very best. Since they are the ones the young generation look up to everyday as "role models", other than their parents perhaps.

well, thats not the point of discussion here though. my point is that i believe teachers should be behaving appropriately. What they are employed to do is to educate the students, and i believe they should have a decent level of respect for the students while they expect the same way in the reverse direction.

There is a teacher whom i have seen posting stuff about students on facebook, of which started last year. i witnessed that incident and i was quite shocked by the way he does it. im not sure if the only one who disagrees with his actions. some of his ex students even began commenting and discussions began.

That time, the material posted were photos he took of students' answers of which he found to be say "ridculous" or "funny". in the sense that i guess he was shocked at that kind of answer being written. And after that, he gave those photos captions which didnt put the student in any form of good light as well. and ppl began LIKING those photos, or joining in the mocking of the poor victims of the exams.

It is rather disgusting to me, i feel. i mean, the students are all trying to do their best and sometimes they dunno the answers and in times of desperation, they would just try to scribble something in hope of some lucky points. or if they have a poor understanding of the topic they might give answers that would sound "funny" to an teacher who, we all expect to know the content of the subject very very well. so why did he have to make it into a joke!? its like a form of public humiliation although the names were not shown. but still. why do we have to make fun of them in this way. shouldnt the teacher be more worried and eager about helping them, to correct their mistakes and to educate them better? instead, amidst his own frustration he has decided to share those silly mistakes with the world. incredible, i feel.

if the material were about like stuff they said that were funny, or like content that are purely funny like ppl writing their dates wrongly or something, i guess thats acceptable. but to post their answers and to criticise them on fb, isnt the way to go, Sir.

and the reason why im posting this after so long is because these few days, i have seen such incidents again. this time, he updated his statuses with some answers he saw while marking scripts i suppose, and once again this is a form of expression which i feel is no way acceptable.

then again, i know teachers are humans too and when they are concerned/frustrated/angry they have to vent it out as well. but probably should be using other methods instead. and definitely not on such open, accessible and popular online channels like facebook.

(i guess some of you alr know who this teacher is but pls do not disclose here. this is just meant to be my stand and opinion on the issue, not on the person. thanks.)

beautiful feeling

when u feel like u have made a really good friend, and u feel like you can talk about anything with this person, comfortably.

thats a beautiful feeling.

POTD 23-09-10

haha haven been any mh's updates for like months on my blog, so heres something more special that made me happy today haha.

_____________

After posting the above post, look wad i have got lol.

POTD 21-09-10

had coronation ke ai ji before last week's MAF @ hc. haha i missed the taste of it but i have to say it disappointed me! doesnt taste as good as last time alr :(

AHM 2010 Official Results

note some mistakes: like under right column facts: 57% were Singapore. LOL.

and FOUR persons ran past me! haha not bad qt low an overtaken rate.